I Will Forgive You

When you have remembered
what it was that I said
that night you dismissed me,
condescended me as 'sick';

When you realise the truth
in my words of old
which I have long since not
bothered to repeat endlessly;

When all has, at last,
been said and been done,
I will forgive you.

When my eyes cease their burning,
when my throat stops clenching,
when my dreams are not pulsing,
throbbing within my mind,
I will forgive you.

When you turn away
from your illusions
of what you call
'the human condition',
I will forgive you.

When you have been imprisoned for your ignorance,
when you have become lost in your remorse and regret,
when you have been whipped for your crimes against me,
I will forgive you.

When a sea of tears has drowned you,
when my pain, inflicted by you,
is made manifest in your twisted and diseased flesh;
corpulent corporate carcasses
and rivers of rotund rotting 'reality' --
when my sobs of despair become a ghastly sound in your mind,
tearing at threads of your sanity with haunting visions of my suffering,
dissolving resolve and breaking your acceptance of your legal murder --
I will forgive you.

When you know the lies, the illusions, and the lament of death;
when you know the dream, the dread, and the destruction of stars;
when you know the sound of the sigh and the sensation of truth;
when the darkest of angels treads lightly upon ancestral ashes,
from you to your most ancient of putrid parasitic predecessors,
revelling in the sight of your defeat,
of how you defeated yourselves,
proved yourselves wrong,
lit the dying flames
for a dance
of power,
of pride,
denial,
and
burned
your
selves
to
death.

It is then that I will forgive you.

Until then, I only hate and pity you,
and wish for such satisfaction
as this being untrue.

You have my sympathy,
you have my pity;
yet never,
until this world's end,
my forgiveness.